Friday, May 1, 2015

What It's Like to Be a Daryl Dixonite (For My Liberal, Feminist Sisters)

First of all,
it’s falling head over heels into a zombie apocalypse—
Georgia heat, walking corpses, Atlanta burning, bombs.
It’s imagining you’ll die with the other academics, metrosexuals, and mama’s boys
When he arrives on a Triumph motorcycle
then says, “You comin' or what?” 
It's Prince Charming as a sweaty, backwoods survivalist, 
He's a redneck
who didn't finish high school and hasn't bathed in a month.   
It’s a subliminal message
The jacket he wears with the angel wings on back


His bow and arrow
The size of his arms. 
It's mining human survivors all night from the woods
Killing any animal you can find for dinner
It’s pro-life and pro-guns.
It’s what my mentors declared
In Women’s Studies
Happily Ever After is a Disaster.
I stay behind a man
Do what he says
Thank God. 

©Alana Noël Voth

XO.





Monday, April 27, 2015

Donna Miele Reviews My Book, DOG MEN

Would you like to read Donna Miele's review of my book, DOG MEN? Yay! Go HERE.



Would you like to purchase your very own copy of my book, DOG MEN? Yay! Go HERE.

XO. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Emer O' Toole: It's the Year of the Bush

(From The Guardian)


On John Ruskin's wedding night, legend has it, the critic fainted on finding that – unlike the Elysian statues of his fantasies – women had body hair. Monday is the 114th anniversary of Ruskin's death. Who would've predicted that instead of laughing at Victorian prudery, many men still expect their sexual encounters to entail pudenda, pins and pits as marble smooth as those of young Ruskin's imagination?

Read the rest of "It's the Year of the Bush" HERE.


XO.  

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Yahni Lei Chismar: Calm


(From Thick With Conviction)

Have you ever cocked the knees out,
stood bow-legged in slacks,
insisted the ankles pose
a foot apart in photographs
so the inner thighs, somehow,
have breathing room in between?

Read the rest of "Calm" HERE.

XO.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

It's Time to Play Dom, Sub, or Switch: Adam Levine Edition

Happy Monday. It's time to play Dom, Sub, or Switch?

Dom, Sub, or Switch: a brief explanation. 

BDSM, which stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, is a type of sex play that involves consenting adults who enter into a relationship or sexual situation where one partner is dominant (or a Dom) and one is submissive (or a Sub.) Sometimes, one of the partners is a Dom or Sub, also known as a Switch, meaning the person enjoys playing either role. BDSM involves restraints, spankings, and humiliation, with an emphasis on pain as pleasure, and the players have a "safe word" between them the Sub uses any time he or she feels uncomfortable or wishes to halt the action.

*Note Partners in a BDSM relationship respect one other's boundaries. A Dom isn't a bully who forces an unwilling partner into an unwanted scenario. Likewise, a Sub isn't a moron who's unwillingly coerced into doing something he or she doesn't want. "After care" is vital to a BDSM relationship as it allows partners to tend to each other's emotional needs after and discuss the experience.

A Dom doesn't dictate a Sub's life.

Let's meet our person of speculation.

Adam Levine is an American musician/actor best known for dating more super models than Leonardo DiCaprio. A lot of people may also know him as the man who crawls into Blake Shelton's lap on The Voice. Others may recall the gruesome end Levine met on season two of American Horror Story. Unfortunately, Blake Shelton wasn't around to save him.

Blake Shelton cradles a grateful Adam Levine.
A few people may have also heard of Adam Levine's band, Maroon 5.

In the band's video for "Misery," a super model tops the hell out of Levine. She shoves, bites, head butts, then kicks him below the belt.

All before she plows into him with her car.

"Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem.
You'd rather cover up.
I'd rather let them bleed."
Maroon 5

Levine rebounds then returns for more.


In 2013, People Magazine crowned Adam Levine "Sexiest Man Alive."

Winning the title that year probably had something to do with his public bromance with Blake Shelton. And his infamous cover for Rolling Stone, too. 

This picture says, "Although I look a little wooden (no pun intended; or is it?) I'm naked and covered with tattoos and anxious for your attention. Please speculate about me." 

Let's meet our expert panel of speculators.

Shanna Germain is a self proclaimed "Writer, editor, leximaven, game girl, vorpal blonde, and bisexual brainlicker." Everyone should allow a bisexual to lick his or her brain once. Germain's latest book, Kinky As You Wanna Be (Your Guide to Safe, Sane, and Smart BDSM), is part autobiography, part essay, part interview, part fiction, part "how to" and someone needs to deliver a copy to Jamie Dornan as soon as possible. E.L. James would benefit from a copy as well. Adam Levine already owns a copy and keeps it on his coffee table. Bedside table? Carries it with him where ever he goes?

Kristina Wright is a self proclaimed "author, anthologist, mother, wife, dreamer, storyteller, and coffee drinker." She'll run to your defense if an Internet troll is hurling misogynistic vitriol at you. She also spends a lot of time at Starbucks with her lap top. Wright's latest book, Three of Hearts (Erotic Romance for Women), may finally settle the debate: is three company, a crowd, or a charm?

Sommer Marsden is a self proclaimed "dirty word writer, gluten free baker, sock addict, fair wiener dog walker, and expert procrastinator." Marsden is erotica's Joyce Carol Oates. She's prolific and talented. She also has a "dirty mind" and "gets paid for it." Nice. Marsden's latest projects, The Mighty Quinn and Lucky Streak, are both available from Excessica Press. The first is part comedy, part hot as heck, while the second gets into bondage, anal, and threesomes.

Alana Noel Voth is a self proclaimed superhero because she's spent the last eighteen years as a single mom/writer/college student, single mom/writer/graduate school student/teaching fellow, then alas, single mom/writer/college prof. Her book, Dog Men, is dark coming-of-age/urban fantasy erotica.

*Disclaimer No one on the panel knows Adam Levine, so we're all doing what it says we're doing, speculating! On with the speculation.

Adam Levine sticks his tongue out at the panel because . . . well . . . he wants a spanking. 

Adam Levine: Dom, Sub, or Switch? 

Shanna Germain says, "Can I vote for none of the above? He just seems like he'd be a lot of fun."

Kristina Wright says, "Sub . . . I don't get any Dom vibe vibe from him."

Sommer Marsden says, "I have one foot in the Sub camp, and one foot in the Switch camp. My Dom radar doesn't go off with Adam. Regarding a Switch, I can see him being up for giving it a shot (the Dom thing) upon request. Or for fun. LOL. Sorry. I live in my head too much."

Alana Noel Voth says, "Last time I consulted my imagination, Adam Levine was cuffed face down to a bed while his trim white butt glowed a delightful shade of crimson."


Next Week's Person of Speculation

Tom Hiddleston

XO. 


*Lyrics for "Misery" written by Sam Farrar, Jesse Carmichael, and Adam Levine. 

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

It's Time to Play Dom, Sub, or Switch: Norman Reedus Edition

Happy Tuesday. It's time to play Dom, Sub, or Switch?

Dom, Sub, or Switch: a brief explanation. 

BDSM, which stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, is a type of sex play that involves consenting adults who enter into a relationship or sexual situation where one partner is dominant (or a Dom) and one is submissive (or a Sub.) Sometimes, one of the partners is a Dom or Sub, also known as a Switch, meaning the person enjoys playing either role. BDSM involves restraints, spankings, and humiliation, with an emphasis on pain as pleasure, and the players have a "safe word" between them the Sub uses any time he or she feels uncomfortable or wishes to halt the action.

*Note Partners in a BDSM relationship respect one other's boundaries. A Dom isn't a bully who forces an unwilling partner into an unwanted scenario. Likewise, a Sub isn't a moron who's unwillingly coerced into doing something he or she doesn't want. "After care" is vital to a BDSM relationship as it allows partners to tend to each other's emotional needs after and discuss the experience.

A Dom doesn't dictate a Sub's life.

Let's meet our person of speculation.

Norman Reedus is an American actor best known for his roles as Murphy MacManus in The Boondock Saints and Daryl Dixon in The Walking Dead. Millions of male and female fans swoon at the sight of Reedus and might even lose consciousness if they met him in person. Me, I'd fart, because I fart when I'm nervous, which is why I hope to never meet Reedus in person. A fan I know once claimed she'd "pay Norman Reedus to let me give him a blow job." That's amore? And probably nothing Reedus hasn't heard before. His character, Daryl Dixon, has become so popular on The Walking Dead, fans have threatened to riot if he dies, and nobody cares what Dixon's sexual preferences are because he kicks zombie ass, remains loyal to his friends, and refuses to shower.

Also, he slurps spaghetti.

Reedus flexes his muscles for the members of our expert panel of speculators. 

Let's meet our expert panel of speculators.

Shanna Germain is a self proclaimed "Writer, editor, leximaven, game girl, vorpal blonde, and bisexual brainlicker." Everyone should allow a bisexual to lick his or her brain once. Germain's latest book, Kinky As You Wanna Be (Your Guide to Safe, Sane, and Smart BDSM), is part autobiography, part essay, part interview, part fiction, part "how to" and someone needs to deliver a copy to Jamie Dornan as soon as possible. E.L. James would benefit from a copy as well. Norman Reedus already owns a copy and keeps it on his coffee table. Bedside table? Carries it with him where ever he goes?

Kristina Wright is a self proclaimed "author, anthologist, mother, wife, dreamer, storyteller, and coffee drinker." She'll run to your defense if an Internet troll is hurling misogynistic vitriol at you. She also spends a lot of time at Starbucks with her lap top. Wright's latest book, Three of Hearts (Erotic Romance for Women), may finally settle the debate: is three company, a crowd, or a charm?

Sommer Marsden is a self proclaimed "dirty word writer, gluten free baker, sock addict, fair wiener dog walker, and expert procrastinator." Marsden is erotica's Joyce Carol Oates. She's prolific and talented. She also has a "dirty mind" and "gets paid for it." Nice. Marsden's latest projects, The Mighty Quinn and Lucky Streak, are both available from Excessica Press. The first is part comedy, part hot as heck, while the second gets into bondage, anal, and threesomes.

Alana Noel Voth is a self proclaimed superhero because she's spent the last eighteen years as a single mom/writer/college student, single mom/writer/graduate school student/teaching fellow, then alas, single mom/writer/college prof. Her book, Dog Men, is dark coming-of-age/urban fantasy erotica.

*Disclaimer No one on the panel knows Norman Reedus, unless Sommer Marsden isn't telling us something, so we're all doing what it says we're doing, speculating! On with the speculation.

Reedus applies eyeliner and puts on a skirt for our expert panel of speculators. 

Norman Reedus: Dom, Sub, or Switch? 

Shanna Germain says, "(Norman Reedus) seems like someone who's willing to stretch himself. I hope all of the above!"

Kristina Wright says, "Switch. He walks that edge, both take-charge and deferential, depending on the circumstance. He acts like he could tie you up (and know how to do it) or enjoy a beating. But I may be projecting."

Sommer Marsden says, "Hmm, that's a hard one. I'm torn between Dom and Switch. Send him over and I'll let you know later."

Alana Noel Voth says, "Last time I consulted my imagination, Norman Reedus was a pansexual oober kinkster Switch whose interest in straight vanilla sex was slim to nothing."

Next Week's Person of Speculation

Adam Levine

XO. 

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Alison Tyler: Dark Secret Love

In the prologue to her book, Dark Secret Love, Alison Tyler uses the word "meta-fiction." She also says she's about to "open my closet and reveal my desires." In other words, Dark Secret Love is either fiction or memoir or not. Doesn't matter. What's important is Alison Tyler offers readers a love story infused with heart, soul, intellect, and spankings.

Dark Secret Love involves BDSM, a term most people have encountered by now. It's also a coming-of-age tale narrated by twenty-something Samantha who lives in LA. Samantha is my kind of heroine, a non-virgin tequila drinking writer with a brain. Likewise, Dark Secret Love is my kind of love story, right up there with the film version of Secretary, because both tales step outside the box and surprise me. They have edge. They transcend stereotypes. Samantha isn't a moron. She's a submissive. Jack, her primary love interest, is a dom, not a bully. He did something toward the end of the story that felt, well . . . incredibly fucking romantic. (Insert me in mid-swoon. Or cuffs. Yeah, cuffs.)


Here's what I love most about Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler. The characters feel complex and their experiences feel authentic. Emotional authenticity charged by eroticism. Just the right splash of romance the color of freshly whipped butt cheeks. Whether the authenticity comes from the author's personal experience or her ability to imagine her way into said experience doesn't matter. I'm grateful. I also intend to read the sequel as soon as possible.

XO.